Everyone wants to keep their pupils safe from bullying. We urge pupils to report any bullying to an adult, we send them to classes to boost their self-esteem, and we read blogs on e-bullying. But what happens if the bully is an adult? Parents and educators are now waking up to the fact that anybody can be a bully, after a slew of ignominious scandals and exposures. This also applies to administrators, coaches, counselors, and instructors. Identifying the true cause of the issue is one of the main challenges. Full-time parents are unable to take a week off from work to lurk about the school and listen for offensive or hurtful remarks. To start solving problems, apply the methods listed below. 1. Ask your pupil to tell you the whole tale. Talking openly with your kid and getting the whole narrative is the first step. Even if you are unsure, listen to your youngster without judgment. But don’t accept everything your youngster says at face value. Children often embellish factual realities in their tales (this, this, and that happened) while embellishing emotional truths (something hurtful happened). When it comes to whether your kid is providing an accurate or emotionally correct narrative, be honest with yourself. 2. assess the narrative. After you’ve heard the tale, think about what your youngster is saying. Is there someone who is intentionally trying to damage your child’s physical, mental, or emotional health with hurtful words or deeds—a person who is considered a bully? or are they responding to someone or something because of unique circumstances? When a teacher says anything out of context, a youngster could interpret it as unkind. be positive about what was said, when it was stated, and by whom. 3. Take thorough notes on everything. From now on, record each instance of bullying in your journal. Take note of who said what, when, and the circumstances around it. Remain as objective as you can and refrain from assuming anything about the thoughts or motivations of individuals other than your pupil. For instance, if your kid says that a teacher said something hurtful, the record may look something like this: On October 21, about 2:00 PM, in the science classroom: Mr. Name redirected the kid after class. Mr. Name informed the student that he should not apply for honors courses the next year because he is too stupid to keep up with the work and that’s the class for smart kids after all other students had left the room. expressing Mr. Name cornered student after class and insulted him, trying to scare student out of his honors application is not the same as expressing this. Mr. Name acted in an impolite and inappropriate manner. It is evident from the first record that you went over the information. It does not infer anything about the bully’s actions; instead, it provides exact words or phrases. The second example is prejudiced and too passionate. Even if that could be the case, it is far more difficult for a principal or administration to ignore a list of objectively documented incidents that includes dates and times than it is to ignore a parent who is upset. It also demonstrates that you are not exaggerating in response to a single incident, but rather describing a long-term issue. 4. gathering This is where you use your situational judgment. Arrange a one-on-one meeting to talk about the situation if you think the instructor or administration may have unintentionally offended your kid. Bring your records, but treat them more like notes than a litany. Billy felt that you were insulting his intelligence when you said x and y, which is why he was upset. If the infraction was unintentional, you and your pupil may collaborate with the instructor or administration to resolve the issue. Just in case, make a note of the conference in your documentation list and save it. Add the conference and an unbiased account of the teacher’s response to your list of recorded events if you start to suspect that the offense was not accidental (the teacher becomes extremely defensive, tries to assign the blame to the student, or rejects the claim outright). If you need to take the matter to a higher level and present it to the principle or another district authority, you will need this. 5. Ask around to find out what parents and other kids think. Try to ask open-ended questions instead of loaded ones like has Mr. Name finally stopped beating up on my child? or how is your child enjoying class with Mr. Name? While gathering a posse and going on a witch hunt is not your goal, it would be beneficial to invite other parents who have similar worries to start recording as well. One worried, prepared parent is not as persuasive as a bunch of them. 6. Create a strategy and escalate Create the best possible plan of action to resolve the issue if the conference fails to put an end to the bullying. Plan with the needs of your youngster in mind, not the teacher’s; say, I want my child moved to another class and to see the counselor once a week, rather than, I want this terrible person fired immediately. It is seldom possible for the school to just fire or dismiss a teacher, therefore there’s little need in pushing for it. Set up a meeting with district or school authorities at the next level. See the principal if one of the teachers is the issue. Speak with the superintendent if the principal is the issue. Keep your composure and bring your notes; you want to come out as logical. 7. Get in touch with your pupil again Remind your youngster that the bullying is not their fault and that you are there to support and assist them. Encourage your kid to resume participating in school-related activities or other pursuits that keep him or her motivated and involved. Taking your kid to visit a private counselor or the school counselor can be beneficial. Above all, never stop letting your pupil know that you are interested in helping. Even if your kid is unhappy, he or she will remember that you supported and advocated for them. A good ally is a terrific present when facing against a bully; whether or not your kid says it, they will be very appreciative that you stood by them. by Mindlaunch Education’s creator, Elaine Sigal For the best online tutoring experience, mindlaunch.com connects students with qualified, experienced American instructors.
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