A series that is now being produced by Stephen P. Bye, who was once a correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictitious newspaper that was published in Laicos County, an imagined town in the United States of America. Regarding the seven-month history of the change that has taken place in Laicos County, please refer to the thirteen further reports that have been submitted before. 17th of March, 2019: As a result of the backward-looking ownership group of the Mirror Rearview, I was fired from my position as a reporter for the publication by the previous week. I am now writing as an independent blogger. Reportedly, the readers of the Mirror Rearview expressed their belief that my introspective pieces were in violation of the slogan of the newspaper, which is “The Mirror never lies.” In order to terminate my employment, the editor of the newspaper, Ed Itor, simply told me, “Bye-bye…Stephen Bye.” He did this by kicking me in the behind. Following the discovery that Alice N. Wonderland had assembled a diverse group of investors under the name Pot Luck, Inc. in order to purchase a fifty percent interest in Round Trip Fields from the County for ten dollars and “other valuable consideration,” I was terminated. This was most likely the result of insightful reporting. I was unable to confirm what was meant by the phrase “other valuable consideration,” despite the fact that other trustworthy sources suggested that the consideration was of little value. Pot Luck signed the agreement with Laicos County, taking a risk with the struggling golf course by entering into a revenue split agreement. The agreement stipulates that the income will include the sale of cannabis grown at the course, in addition to the profits generated from all of the operations associated with the golf course. Over the course of the first few weeks, the course has been overrun with nude players and throngs of spectators wearing only thongs, as well as many others shedding all of their clothes. This is due to the fact that the County commissioners approved the clothing optional policy for the golfers at Round Trip Fields last month. Thousands of tourists are making their way to Laicos County as a result of the unprecedented level of interest in Round Trip Fields that has been generated by the national media. It has come to my attention that every single hotel room in the County has been reserved for a period of six months in advance, and there are waiting lines that never end. Round Trip Fields has been given the nickname “Naked Potpourri” due to the appearance of a nudist party scene and the appeal of being able to legally consume marijuana. The advertising strategy for Pot Luck has even been updated… “You can’t get enough of puff in the buff from the rough!” was the phrase. As a result of the insufficient parking available at Round Trip Fields, there is an immediate requirement for mass transit transportation to the course. As a result, Pot Luck has purchased a fleet of electric buses and is charging each rider ten dollars for a round trip ticket in addition to the twenty dollars that is required for admission. Additionally, they have installed observation platforms near to the tees and greens, charging customers ten dollars to sit there, and they have also introduced a twenty-dollar rental fee for binoculars. Both of these options are available to customers. The airspace above the course has been designated as a strict no-fly zone as a result of the unexpected surge in the number of drones equipped with cameras. In addition, the County has constructed a concrete wall that is fifteen feet high and surrounds the perimeter of the golf field in order to prevent illegal migration and peeping. In addition, there are restrictions placed on iPhone devices; nevertheless, a locked locker may be hired for a charge of fifteen dollars for storage purposes. It has been decided to keep Timothy Leery in his position as the head golf professional at Round Trip Fields. The phrase “Turn on…tune in…drop out” is his favorite brand slogan. In response to my inquiry on the meaning of the term, he provided more explanation. You should continue playing golf while standing on grass, listen to the greatest songs of the Doobie Brothers, and get out of the game if you find yourself whiffing too often. I took notice of the fact that Pot Luck has provided names for the holes on the back nine… “Magic Carpet Ride,” “Along Comes Mary,” “One Toke Over the Line,” “Stoned Soul Picnic,” “Smokin’,” “Feelingin’ Groovy,” “Grazin’ in the Grass,” “Let’s Groove,” and “Fly Like an Eagle” are some of the songs that are included in this collection. In a previous episode, I stated that the nine holes in the front of the course were given names such as “Good Vibrations,” “Strawberry Fields Forever,” “Dear Mr. Fantasy,” “Eight Miles High,” “Sky Pilot,” “Ball of Confusion,” “Purple Haze,” “Hypnotized,” and “Psychedelic Shack.” At the Hammer Valley Club, Lester “Duff” Hacker, who had previously served as the Laicos County Golf Executive, has been replaced with the position of janitor. Since Hacker was a manager in the waste management department of the County in the past, he should be in a familiar job now that he is responsible for altering the rolls of toilet paper that are more affordable at the courses. It has been reported that Hacker has been experiencing severe depression as a result of his demotion. He has been living in the comfort room at Sausage Creek Links and having lengthy conversations with Clare Voyant, the soothsayer that he hired several months ago to hypnotize golfers into hitting a hole-in-one at Round Trip Fields. It has been two weeks since I made arrangements to meet with Ms. Wonderland in order to offer my congratulations on the creative ideas that have been implemented at Round Trip Fields, as well as the general economic success that it has brought to Pot Luck, Inc. and to Laicos County. After she was referred to as an inventive capitalist, she grew enraged and began shouting about the bad things that are associated with entrepreneurial beliefs. After I brought to her attention the many income streams that were generated as a result of Pot Lucks’ business choices, she had me arrested by a swat squad, and I was subsequently put in prison and charged with heresy. Despite the fact that I am now appealing my right to free expression, the County is charging me one hundred bucks for each word that I use in my plea. A short time ago, it was possible to be thrown in the joint for smoking a joint. This is an ironic situation. Due to the fact that Wonderland’s nose was out of joint, I am now being sent to prison. I have retained the services of Sue Yorbutt, a lawyer who is well-known for her “hard ass” legal strategies. It is possible that you may remember from my previous reports that Yorbutt has been in conflict with the County about a number of personal injury claims that have been submitted on behalf of a number of golfers. An arrest warrant has been issued for thousands of inhabitants of Laicos County who participated in a demonstration against the additional taxes that were imposed by the Executive Council. It would seem that no one is too tall to go to prison. Donny T. Rump, a real estate billionaire who also serves as the president of The Laicos Country Club, is one of the people that share these cells with me. In response to Rump’s demand that the County pay for the construction of a wall surrounding the elite golf club, Wonderland has referred to Rump as a “ass.” Jim Nasticks, the County Executive, has also been imprisoned for expressing his viewpoint. He is now being held in solitary confinement, shackled to an unstable beam, and confined in a cell with unequal bars. In addition, a prominent local businessman named Paul Ronnald was taken into custody for playing the song “Taxman” by the Beatles over his boombox for a number of days in front of the administrative building for Laicos County. The Laicos County Jail is known for playing speeches by notable figures like as Fidel Castro, Karl Marx, Nikita Khruschev, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Bernie Sanders. For those of you who have never been a “guest” at the facility, you may listen to these lectures. We joined forces and sang “In the Jailhouse Now,” “The Hokey Pokey,” “Down in the Boondocks,” “We Gotta Get Out of This Place,” and “Jailhouse Rock” as a group in order to express our desperation and fight the oppressive influence of the communist propaganda. Unfortuitously, I am being held captive in the calaboose under lock and key because I have been wrongfully accused of circulating false information. I anticipate that the security personnel will soon lock the keys to my laptop, which means that I will have to sneak in a pen in order to write from the pen. Once again, I want to thank you for taking the time to read my reports over the previous seven months. Taking a look at the future via the rearview mirror
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