Stephen P. Bye, a reporter for the Mirror Rearview, is the subject of Article 15 of the Special Report. Stephen P. Bye, a correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictitious newspaper based in Laicos County, an imagined municipality in the United States of America, is the author of this ongoing and ongoing series. For further context, please refer to the fourteen reports that came before this one. (3rd of April, 2020) Having been away from the beat for a period of twelve months while I was serving my term in jail, I am now back on the beat as an unpaid reporter for The Mirror Rearview. To my great relief, my attorney, Sue Yourbutt, brought my case all the way to the State Supreme Court, where they decided that I had been unlawfully jailed for exercising my right to free speech in earlier contributions. I am astounded by the speed with which the judicial system operates. At the beginning of March, as you are probably aware by this point, the Laicos County Executive, Alice N. Wonderland, ordered the closure of all companies that were not necessary due to the widespread spread of the Coronavirus. This include The Mirror Rearview, which is no longer being printed and is instead dependent completely on electronic distribution. Because of the disastrous state of the economy in Laicos County, advertising money has vanished, and the Internal Revenue Service has determined that The Mirror Rearview is a non-profit organization. On a GoFundMe website located at “End.The.Insanity.com,” contributions that are eligible for tax deductions are now being collected. Despite the fact that the three golf courses in the county are closed for golf, the sites are nevertheless available to the public so that they may enjoy the outdoors. However, there is a restriction of eighteen individuals on each course at any one time. For the purpose of ensuring that every individual maintains a social distance of one hole, eighteen sheriff officers from the county are assigned to attend each golf course. As a result of the requirement that they maintain a distance of at least twenty feet between themselves, the queues of people waiting to join the courses take up at least half a mile. As far as Wonderland is concerned, the cultivation of marijuana is still allowed on the boundaries of the golf courses. Every single cannabis store has been shut down, with the exception of those that are run by Pot Luck Inc., which is the corporation that Ms. Wonderland now controls. It was while I was incarcerated that I discovered that rival marijuana stores had been shut down because they had violated county regulations. As a result, Pot Luck, Inc. is the only establishment where cannabis goods may be bought. One of the mandates that Ms. Wonderland has issued is that all vital firms must refrain from terminating or furloughing any of their workers. In a brief press release, she made the following statement: “Companies are formed for the employees…firing people due to a situation that came out of nowhere is unjust.” The County Executive also ordered a six-month rent vacation for all apartment renters, a moratorium on mortgage payments for all borrowers who have a house loan, and a suspension of property tax payments. All of these measures were taken in conjunction with the suspension of property tax payments. However, it is imperative that all companies continue to pay real estate taxes and registration fees, and the County Commissioners have implemented a ten percent increase in the penalty for late payments. Furthermore, Alice N. Wonderland issued an order that each household should divide its members in order to ensure that there is no more than one person present in a room at any one moment. A great number of households have resorted to relegating a member of their family to a closet or to a crawl space in the basement. It has been claimed that the police have made hundreds of arrests after spotting families playing board games or cards, which is a violation of the Executive directive that only solo games should be played. Up to one hundred individuals are crammed into a single cell at the local prison because of the overwhelming number of people who have broken the law. I called Dr. I. M. Gloomy at Laicos County Hospital, where he and Major Fear, a former military physician, are leading a medical consulting team that reports to Alice N. Wonderland. I was interested in learning more about this situation. In spite of the fact that four individuals died from heart attacks, five from different types of cancer, two from vehicle accidents, four from shootings, and ten from drug overdoses, Dr. Gloomy confirmed that there were no fatalities that were identified as being caused by CV-19 over the preceding month. While Dr. Gloomy is now worried about a significant rise in the number of suicides that have occurred as a result of the quarantine order, he acknowledges that Ms. Wonderland is responsible for the absence of fatalities caused by the virus due to her prompt efforts. In addition, Ms. Wonderland has made it mandatory for all of the inhabitants to wear masks, which are readily available. Nevertheless, 10 banks have been robbed in just this week alone, and the employees of these banks are unhappy because they are unable to differentiate between a thief and a client. In addition, this has been a difficulty for the police department, which has resulted in thousands of “stop and frisk” operations without any arrests being made. There have been no layoffs or terminations of employment for county government workers, according to Ms. Wonderland’s report. For the purpose of administering the County’s portion of the $2.2 trillion rescue plan implemented by the United States Government, one hundred more personnel have been hired. In order to reinforce the police force and ensure compliance with the different governmental mandates and instructions, three hundred of the present workers have been added to the deputies. As a result of the shortage of toilet paper, scores of fights have broken out, and as a result, two cops have been posted to each and every establishment that sells toilet paper. It has been claimed that Ms. Wonderland is contemplating issuing an order that would restrict individuals to using just a single sheet of toilet paper for each and every trip to the restroom. However, she is uncertain how she would go about enforcing this edict. On the other hand, she appointed Lester “Duff” Hacker, a former executive at the county golf club, to a new role where he will be responsible for finding toilet paper. According to reports, Hacker’s first official act consisted of removing ten thousand rolls of toilet paper from the facilities on the golf course and storing them in an impregnable vault located in the Laicos County Municipal Building. This vault was guarded by armed soldiers around the clock. In the previous year, Hacker placed an order for the luxury toilet tissue supply that was to be used in the bathrooms of the County golf course. This supply consisted of four plies of finely pulped paper that was improved with lotion and wax. In light of the fact that the number of homeless people has rapidly increased as a result of the suspension of businesses, the Laicos County Commissioners are contemplating issuing an order that would require the county to seize any abandoned residences and hotels that have been closed down. There will be hearings open to the public the following week. Two County Commissioners are spearheading a campaign to revoke a statute that taxes owners of retail properties for unoccupied storefronts. This is as a result of the obligation to close enterprises that are not vital to the operation of the county. The rule was conceived by Ms. Wonderland six months ago, and it was founded on the hypothesis that residents who went by empty storefronts were more likely to experience feelings of depression. When Ms. Wonderland criticized landlords, she accused them of being greedy because they charged rents that were beyond of reach for traditional small tenant companies. Building owners have been subject to a monthly fee of ten dollars per linear foot of empty window space ever since the legislation was enacted regarding this matter. Viewing the Future Through the Rearview Mirror, Looking Forward
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