There are a lot of questions that come up in my line of work as a relationship architect, and some of them come up more often than others. One of the most often asked concerns that I get from couples who are in long-term and short-term relationships is about the expectations that they have for their relationship. What are you anticipating from me? What is it that you need me to do? What should I do in this situation? If you want to have a conversation, watch this video. Even while this is a question that may be considered to be rather logical – one might even claim that it is intelligent – it also has the potential to be one of the most stupid inquiries. To begin, let’s concentrate on the factors that make queries about relationship expectations intelligent. Difficulties with communication are one of the most significant factors that may impede the development of good relationships, especially when problems are not spoken openly about. Couples often fail to communicate their expectations on how their spouse should communicate with them, listen to them, and treat them. This is the kind of relationship expectation that has to be discussed and listened to right from the get. It is necessary for me to maintain open lines of communication with my wife, even after 37 years of marriage, in order to ensure that we are both aware of what we anticipate from one another. When you fail to convey what you anticipate from your spouse, it may result in feelings of frustration and disappointment on both of your parts. Due to the fact that expectations have been not met, disappointment nearly invariably results in feelings of anger. In the beginning stages of a relationship, when you have been dating for a sufficient amount of time to have the feelings and thoughts that you want to develop a connection, it is a good idea to discuss your expectations with the other person. Talk to your spouse and obtain their input. I would want to know how you are feeling about what I am anticipating. I’m talking about having acceptable expectations at this point. Having children is a wonderful illustration of this. Are you planning on being the primary provider for your family, or do you anticipate co-parenting with your partner? When the question regarding relationship expectations is directly related to your ego or when there is a feeling of entitlement associated to it, that is when it becomes the most stupid aspect of the inquiry. Some examples of phrases that are appropriate are “you had better take care of me” and “I expect you to keep your anger to yourself if you’re furious.” I’ve noticed that a lot of individuals in today’s society have a tendency to approach a marriage or a relationship like it’s a Walmart. Not only does Walmart provide reasonable prices, but it also has practically everything that your home would need. Many individuals have the expectation that their relationship will be the same: a one-stop shop where all of their requirements will be satisfied. It is impossible for any relationship, regardless of how strong it is, to bear the responsibility of being your go-to for anything that you may possibly need. If you anticipate that, you are putting both yourself and your spouse in a position to deal with issues that are not really essential. As a result, while you are thinking about what you anticipate from your spouse in order to have a good relationship, it is important to bear in mind that they are there to complement you and assist you in growing, and not to be your power source. One hundred percent of the responsibility for your experience is with you, while your partner is a collaborator.
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